Group 95
NJ Hotline: (877) NJ-ABUSE
Facebook-f Instagram Youtube Linkedin-in
Group 4

LOGIN

GET TRAINED

ZAP’S SURVIVOR SPACE

ZAP’S SURVIVORSPACE

Zero Abuse Project (the national folks behind NJ’s Finding Words/ChildFirst program, among other things), issued their Autumn newsletter for their SURVIVORSPACE (yes, it’s like that with the partial bold) program.  Here are some highlights: 

,As we make our way through the post-election period and the upcoming holiday season, I’m reminded that there are many conflicting emotions and complex circumstances that survivors of child sexual abuse navigate along their healing journey, and we don’t often talk about them.For instance, what if your family blames you for the abuse or they don’t respect your boundaries? What if your church community is pressuring you to forgive? What if you were abused by another child?These are just a few of the questions our community of survivors answer in new content on SurvivorSpace. Read on to explore these and other great resources.Wherever you find yourself on the healing journey, and whatever questions you may be asking, know that you are not alone. In solidarity,Becky Headshot Circle (yellow).png

Abuse in the Church: Family & Community Dynamics Dr. Pierre Diamond was abused in the church and found that his healing was complicated by the very dynamics that enabled the abuse to occur in the first place. Below is the first of two recorded presentations in which Pierre dives more deeply into the challenges of healing from faith-based abuse.Check out these other resources from Pierre:The Power of Resilience: Thriving Beyond Church Abuse (video)Communicating Boundaries with Family (tip sheet)Navigating Conversations about Faith and Church with Family (tip sheet)Building a Support System Outside of Family (tip sheet)Dealing with Family Members who Blame or Shame (tip sheet)
Abuse by Another ChildChild-on-Child Sexual Abuse (COCSA) occurs more frequently than is typically assumed, but is rarely discussed. Click on the image below for Dustin Daniels’s informative tip sheet addressing several of the most commonly-asked about COCSA.More from Dustin:When Prosecution is Not Possible: Is Reporting Worth It? (tip sheet)He Once Was (poem)The Intersections Between Stalking and Child Sexual Grooming (tip sheet)
Generational Trauma in the Latino CommunityClick the image below to read heartfelt insights from Alyssa Gomez into the struggles Latino survivors face in overcoming generational trauma and stereotypes in the U.S.More from Alyssa:As the Story Goes (poem)Warrior Spirit (poem)Ode to an Angry Little Mayan Girl (poem)It Ends with Us (poem)The Flower Field in You and I (poem)
Embracing Intimacy as a SurvivorIn her latest poem, Wendy Jensen beautifully captures the journey of discovering intimacy and safety in a relationship as a survivor. Click on the image below to read her powerful poem.More from Wendy:Body Memories (poem)In the Company of Survivors Playing Telephone (poem)Sensing Auras (personal narrative)When You’re Ready… What Does it Mean to Be an Activist? (tip sheet)

_________________________________________________________________________

Reminder…  Free, online chat-based support groups for male survivors of sexual victimization are available each weekday through Zero Abuse Project’s program to support male survivors, 1in6. Click here to learn more and view the schedule.
ZAP_e-footer.png

Copyright © 2024 Zero Abuse Project, All rights reserved.
Our mailing address is:366 Jackson Street, Suite 300Saint Paul, Minnesota 55101

You can email Becky Perkins to get on the SURVIVORSPACE mailing list: becky.perkins@zeroabuseproject.org

Valeria Vila, Ph.D.

PSB Program Data Specialist

Valeria is responsible for collecting, analyzing, and communicating about data related to the PSB program.
A trained social scientist, Valeria received her PhD in Social Psychology from Rutgers University, and she is passionate about using data to drive positive change. During her free time, Valeria likes to watch sports, read, cuddle with her dogs, and spend time with her partner and family.

CONTACT US

Contact Us

One Time Donation
Pledge Donations
One Time Donation
Jack’s Story

Jack was eight years old when he was sexually abused by his aunt for a year. His mother reached out to Ginnie’s House, the Sussex County Child Advocacy Center, in search of support for Jack, and it was found that the family as a whole needed services all around as each member was individually impacted by the sexual abuse and disclosure.

Ginnie’s House was not only able to provide Jack with therapeutic services, but Jack’s sister was able to process her feelings with a therapist as well. Jack’s parents received family advocacy services, where they were educated on the impact of trauma and how they can best continue to support Jack during this time. With a lot of strength and resilience, Jack completed TF-CBT (trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy) with his clinician and confidently read his trauma narrative, thus taking ownership over his own story.  

As services were ending Jack’s mother asked how he felt and he told her, “I’m really ok now! I know what happened was her mistake, and that it wasn’t my fault.” Jack’s parents have learned how to remain patient and work with Jack throughout his therapeutic treatment and they “graduated” services being able to support Jack’s healing now and in the future.

Rhea’s Story

“At first I was extremely terrified because I was in the car with my abuser when he had found out that we were being summoned to Union County CAC. But at that point, unbeknownst to me, I was ready to share something because I was tired of the façade. Sofia, the detective in my case, felt like an auntie I had not met yet and I was able to speak to her about something that I hadn’t said aloud ever.

It was a long time between when I disclosed the abuse and when my abuser was convicted in a trial and sentenced. The team members checked in with me and when I was fully ready to speak, they were able to help me find my voice in the sea of cacophony that surrounded my trial process.           

After the conviction, I was going through a rollercoaster of feelings: for the first time, I was going to free of something that had become a part of my identity for so long. I don’t remember much of what I said on the witness stand but I know that I spoke from the depths of my heart without reason and rationale, just strict emotions. I remember telling my mom that I was raped for five years, proved it for four years, and I wanted to live and, in all honesty, that is what I wanted most. I wanted to be a teenager. I wanted to understand life and not feel my life in relation to pain and sorrow. I was and still am committing to becoming my best self despite what I have gone through. That trial was my rebirth and my catalyst for change.

I want to tell my multidisciplinary team ‘Thank you!’ I don’t know where I would be if you all weren’t in my life. I remember taking that leap of faith that I would write my story in my classroom journal and in my mind, that was my release—nothing more, nothing less. You all showed me the true power in words and actions; I became an educator because of what you guys showed me through the four years. I am committed to changing lives from what you all did for me!”

Brenda’s Story

“I remember walking to Deirdre’s House, the Child Advocacy Center, and it was what I imagine is like what your grandma’s house feels like. There’s books, and it’s cozy, and it’s comfortable, and for sure safe.”

In the moment I disclosed my abuse, I felt like I had a rope to climb out of the deep well of water. Once I started sharing my story, I realized it was very empowering to take control – knowing that the story is mine to tell. It’s my warrior story.

Having my family far away most of the time, and not really telling the specifics of my story to them because I didn’t grow up being close to them, led me to lean on the prosecutor team and investigators for support. I see them now maybe once every couple of years, but they are near and dear to me and I feel like they are my family, and they made me feel like I was their family. Usually I would drive from Delaware to NJ for the proceedings and my family couldn’t be there, but the team was there for me. The investigator and one of the interns was there for me during the verdict, holding my hand. They helped me keep my head up; they were my grounding force. Every time I came in, it was like reuniting with friends. They asked me how I was, how school was, how my daughter was. They treated me like a friend – person-to-person – there was no elephant in the room. Whether it’s a family member, a friend, or a professional in the field, the best thing they can do for a survivor is help them feel like a person again. I didn’t need the hugs or the sympathy, I just needed a reason to smile, and they did that for me.

Everybody tells you it’s not your fault, and of course that’s true, but beyond that, it’s not even personal. There are sick and evil people out there, and they don’t do things to you because you’re you, they do things because they’re them. Even though I learned that people can do extreme harm, I came across this family of truly beautiful people who go out of their way to protect those like me.”

Sara Miao, M.B.A.
Program Coordinator, Finding Words/Child First
Sara has been coordinating the logistics of the Finding Words/Child First forensic interviewing protocol training program in NJ since 2022. Prior to joining NJCA, Sara worked for over 20 years in the pharmaceutical industry.
CONTACT US
Claire Henderson

Director of Finance & Operations

Claire graduated with a B.S. in Finance from Lehigh University. Prior to joining NJCA, she worked as an AVP in the Equity Prop Trading department at Deustche Bank. During the 13 years she was away from the working world to raise her three children, she has volunteered at numerous charity organizations. During her free time she likes to travel, read, and spend many days at her kids’ sporting and theatre events.
CONTACT US

Victoria Rutigliano

Finance and Operations Associate

Victoria assists in tracking and documenting NJCA’s grants and other financial operations. She holds a B.S.W. from Monmouth University, and has previously worked in the child welfare field in Denver, CO, as well as served in the role of Training and Outreach Coordinator with NJCA. 
CONTACT US

Maria Isabella Pontoriero (MIP), M.S.W, L.S.W.

PSB Program Manager

Maria Isabella Pontoriero (“MIP”) is a licensed social worker and forensic interviewer. MIP is Founder and Consultant for Enhanced Choice Training & Consulting LLC, which provides specialized training and case consultation to individuals and agencies who serve victims of crime and exploitation. She also provides training and peer review feedback as a contract Consultant for Modell Consulting Group LLC and faculty member for RADAR Child Forensic Interview Models. MIP previously served as Lead Social Worker for the New Orleans Children’s Advocacy Center & Audrey Hepburn CARE Center at Children’s Hospital New Orleans. There, she supervised the forensic interviewing staff and led a child trafficking survivor services and proactive recovery planning team called BRAVE (Building Resilience for All Victims of Exploitation). In addition, MIP develops and delivers in-service and New Recruits child abuse curricula for the New Orleans Police Department Training Academy. In her spare time, MIP loves to bake, read, and celebrate Mardi Gras!
CONTACT US

Joanna (Joey) Lucas

Communications & Outreach Manager

Joey graduated from Rider University in 2018 with a degree in Elementary Education & Psychology. Joey spent over five years developing and implementing special education curriculums in K-12 public schools before deciding to pursue her passion for community outreach and development outside of the classroom. She has always enjoyed volunteering and working with nonprofit organizations to support children and families in need, and is thrilled to have the opportunity to do so in her role at NJCA! In her free time, Joey enjoys reading, travelling, and hosting dinner parties for her friends and family.

CONTACT US
Olga Aramini, M.S.W., M.B.A., L.S.W.
Director of Communications and Outreach
Olga joined NJCA in 2018, and currently serves as Director of Communications, focusing on raising awareness and support for Child Advocacy Centers and NJCA, as well as educating communities about child abuse prevention, recognition and reporting. She holds an MSW from Rutgers University along with a Certificate in Interpersonal Violence and Trauma, as well as an MBA with a concentration in Organizational Development from George Washington University. She is also a mental health clinician, providing treatment to children and families through the Children’s System of Care. Outside of work, Olga enjoys spending time with her husband, three sons and floppy-eared hound dog, as well as art, photography, travel, and audiobooks.
CONTACT US