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THE MOST DANGEROUS TIME OF THE YEAR?

THE MOST DANGEROUS TIME OF THE YEAR?

READ THIS ESSAY FROM OUR FRIENDS AT THE NEW YOUR STATE CHILDREN’S ALLIANCE

It’s the Most Dangerous 
Time of the Year!
 Yes, you read that right! While the holidays are full of joy, excitement, and family traditions, they can also be the most dangerous time of the year for children… 
This season creates conditions that make children more vulnerable than ever. Reports of abuse often drop in December. And that’s not because perpetrators are off celebrating the holidays abroad. In reality, children are away from teachers, coaches, and other mandated reporters, and these holiday times create the ideal situation for any child to be taken advantage of.  Here’s what we know about children’s vulnerability during the holidays: 
About 90% of children who experience abuse know the person responsible, often a family member or close friend. 
As families gather for holiday meals, parties, and community events, children are surrounded by people who feel familiar and safe, which can sometimes hide the real risks. (2) 
Child-on-child abuse is common. More than half of 
reported abuse cases in the U.S. involve children harming 
other children. (2) 
Increased alcohol and drug use. Holiday gatherings often involve drinking or substance use, which can escalate tensions, impair judgment, and increase risk. (1)
 Holiday stress is high. Financial pressures, family conflicts, and the expectation of a “perfect” holiday can push households to a breaking point. 
Children often stay silent. More than 60% of children do not tell anyone about abuse, especially if the abuser is someone they are close to. (3)We know this paints a serious picture, but the good news is that there are concrete steps we can all take to protect children. Awareness and preparation for children & adults make a real difference. By creating safe environments, setting boundaries, and fostering open communication, we can reduce risks and help children feel secure, even during a season of chaos!  
Five Ways to Protect Children This Holiday Season
Limit one-on-one situations. It might seem harmless to let kids play in another room while adults enjoy themselves, but unsupervised time is not safe no matter the age. Children should play in open areas where adults can supervise.
Check in often. During family gatherings or playdates, ask open-ended questions to children such as, “How are you feeling?”, “What are you up to?” or even “Does your body feel safe?” Regular check-ins help children feel seen and respected.
Teach body autonomy and boundaries. Children should understand that their bodies belong to them and that it’s okay to say “no” to physical contact-even with relatives. Hugs and kisses should never be forced, and children should feel comfortable setting their own boundaries.  
High fives & fist bumps are great alternatives!
Stay alert to digital risks. Tech gifts are exciting! But such as tablets and gaming systems can come with hidden dangers. Use parental controls and have ongoing conversations about online safety, including bullying and exploitation risks.
Encourage open communication. Create an environment where children can share questions or concerns without fear of judgment or punishment. Remind them they will never be in trouble for speaking up if something makes them feel unsafe.The holidays are meant to be a time of warmth, celebration, and connection. By being proactive, observant, and intentional, we can make a real difference in the lives of children. Every check-in, every conversation, and every boundary we help a child set builds safety, confidence, and trust. Together, we can ensure that the joy of the season is felt not just by adults, but by the children who depend on us to protect them.
SOURCES: 1. https://preventchildabuse.org/images/docs/therelationshipbetweenparentalalcoholandotherdrugproblemsandchildmaltreatment.pdf
2.  https://www.nationalchildrensalliance.org/media-room/national-statistics-on-child-abuse/
3. https://www.safecommunitiespa.org/blog/keeping-children-safe-over-the-holidays#comments  
4. https://www.indianaprevention.org/blog-1/keepingkidssafeduringtheholidays  
5. https://mbfpreventioneducation.org/tips-to-keep-kids-safe-over-the-holidays/  
Valeria Vila, Ph.D.

PSB Program Data Specialist

Valeria is responsible for collecting, analyzing, and communicating about data related to the PSB program.
A trained social scientist, Valeria received her PhD in Social Psychology from Rutgers University, and she is passionate about using data to drive positive change. During her free time, Valeria likes to watch sports, read, cuddle with her dogs, and spend time with her partner and family.

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Jack’s Story

Jack was eight years old when he was sexually abused by his aunt for a year. His mother reached out to Ginnie’s House, the Sussex County Child Advocacy Center, in search of support for Jack, and it was found that the family as a whole needed services all around as each member was individually impacted by the sexual abuse and disclosure.

Ginnie’s House was not only able to provide Jack with therapeutic services, but Jack’s sister was able to process her feelings with a therapist as well. Jack’s parents received family advocacy services, where they were educated on the impact of trauma and how they can best continue to support Jack during this time. With a lot of strength and resilience, Jack completed TF-CBT (trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy) with his clinician and confidently read his trauma narrative, thus taking ownership over his own story.  

As services were ending Jack’s mother asked how he felt and he told her, “I’m really ok now! I know what happened was her mistake, and that it wasn’t my fault.” Jack’s parents have learned how to remain patient and work with Jack throughout his therapeutic treatment and they “graduated” services being able to support Jack’s healing now and in the future.

Rhea’s Story

“At first I was extremely terrified because I was in the car with my abuser when he had found out that we were being summoned to Union County CAC. But at that point, unbeknownst to me, I was ready to share something because I was tired of the façade. Sofia, the detective in my case, felt like an auntie I had not met yet and I was able to speak to her about something that I hadn’t said aloud ever.

It was a long time between when I disclosed the abuse and when my abuser was convicted in a trial and sentenced. The team members checked in with me and when I was fully ready to speak, they were able to help me find my voice in the sea of cacophony that surrounded my trial process.           

After the conviction, I was going through a rollercoaster of feelings: for the first time, I was going to free of something that had become a part of my identity for so long. I don’t remember much of what I said on the witness stand but I know that I spoke from the depths of my heart without reason and rationale, just strict emotions. I remember telling my mom that I was raped for five years, proved it for four years, and I wanted to live and, in all honesty, that is what I wanted most. I wanted to be a teenager. I wanted to understand life and not feel my life in relation to pain and sorrow. I was and still am committing to becoming my best self despite what I have gone through. That trial was my rebirth and my catalyst for change.

I want to tell my multidisciplinary team ‘Thank you!’ I don’t know where I would be if you all weren’t in my life. I remember taking that leap of faith that I would write my story in my classroom journal and in my mind, that was my release—nothing more, nothing less. You all showed me the true power in words and actions; I became an educator because of what you guys showed me through the four years. I am committed to changing lives from what you all did for me!”

Brenda’s Story

“I remember walking to Deirdre’s House, the Child Advocacy Center, and it was what I imagine is like what your grandma’s house feels like. There’s books, and it’s cozy, and it’s comfortable, and for sure safe.”

In the moment I disclosed my abuse, I felt like I had a rope to climb out of the deep well of water. Once I started sharing my story, I realized it was very empowering to take control – knowing that the story is mine to tell. It’s my warrior story.

Having my family far away most of the time, and not really telling the specifics of my story to them because I didn’t grow up being close to them, led me to lean on the prosecutor team and investigators for support. I see them now maybe once every couple of years, but they are near and dear to me and I feel like they are my family, and they made me feel like I was their family. Usually I would drive from Delaware to NJ for the proceedings and my family couldn’t be there, but the team was there for me. The investigator and one of the interns was there for me during the verdict, holding my hand. They helped me keep my head up; they were my grounding force. Every time I came in, it was like reuniting with friends. They asked me how I was, how school was, how my daughter was. They treated me like a friend – person-to-person – there was no elephant in the room. Whether it’s a family member, a friend, or a professional in the field, the best thing they can do for a survivor is help them feel like a person again. I didn’t need the hugs or the sympathy, I just needed a reason to smile, and they did that for me.

Everybody tells you it’s not your fault, and of course that’s true, but beyond that, it’s not even personal. There are sick and evil people out there, and they don’t do things to you because you’re you, they do things because they’re them. Even though I learned that people can do extreme harm, I came across this family of truly beautiful people who go out of their way to protect those like me.”

Sara Miao, M.B.A.
Program Coordinator, Finding Words/Child First
Sara has been coordinating the logistics of the Finding Words/Child First forensic interviewing protocol training program in NJ since 2022. Prior to joining NJCA, Sara worked for over 20 years in the pharmaceutical industry.
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Claire Henderson

Director of Finance & Operations

Claire graduated with a B.S. in Finance from Lehigh University. Prior to joining NJCA, she worked as an AVP in the Equity Prop Trading department at Deustche Bank. During the 13 years she was away from the working world to raise her three children, she has volunteered at numerous charity organizations. During her free time she likes to travel, read, and spend many days at her kids’ sporting and theatre events.
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Victoria Rutigliano

Finance and Operations Associate

Victoria assists in tracking and documenting NJCA’s grants and other financial operations. She holds a B.S.W. from Monmouth University, and has previously worked in the child welfare field in Denver, CO, as well as served in the role of Training and Outreach Coordinator with NJCA. 
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Maria Isabella Pontoriero (MIP), M.S.W, L.S.W.

PSB Program Manager

Maria Isabella Pontoriero (“MIP”) is a licensed social worker and forensic interviewer. MIP is Founder and Consultant for Enhanced Choice Training & Consulting LLC, which provides specialized training and case consultation to individuals and agencies who serve victims of crime and exploitation. She also provides training and peer review feedback as a contract Consultant for Modell Consulting Group LLC and faculty member for RADAR Child Forensic Interview Models. MIP previously served as Lead Social Worker for the New Orleans Children’s Advocacy Center & Audrey Hepburn CARE Center at Children’s Hospital New Orleans. There, she supervised the forensic interviewing staff and led a child trafficking survivor services and proactive recovery planning team called BRAVE (Building Resilience for All Victims of Exploitation). In addition, MIP develops and delivers in-service and New Recruits child abuse curricula for the New Orleans Police Department Training Academy. In her spare time, MIP loves to bake, read, and celebrate Mardi Gras!
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Joanna (Joey) Lucas

Communications & Outreach Manager

Joey graduated from Rider University in 2018 with a degree in Elementary Education & Psychology. Joey spent over five years developing and implementing special education curriculums in K-12 public schools before deciding to pursue her passion for community outreach and development outside of the classroom. She has always enjoyed volunteering and working with nonprofit organizations to support children and families in need, and is thrilled to have the opportunity to do so in her role at NJCA! In her free time, Joey enjoys reading, travelling, and hosting dinner parties for her friends and family.

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Olga Aramini, M.S.W., M.B.A., L.S.W.
Director of Communications and Outreach
Olga joined NJCA in 2018, and currently serves as Director of Communications, focusing on raising awareness and support for Child Advocacy Centers and NJCA, as well as educating communities about child abuse prevention, recognition and reporting. She holds an MSW from Rutgers University along with a Certificate in Interpersonal Violence and Trauma, as well as an MBA with a concentration in Organizational Development from George Washington University. She is also a mental health clinician, providing treatment to children and families through the Children’s System of Care. Outside of work, Olga enjoys spending time with her husband, three sons and floppy-eared hound dog, as well as art, photography, travel, and audiobooks.
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