Should CSAM be shown to the victims and their parents?
A Free Virtual Gathering from The Academy on Violence & Abuse
Featuring NJ’s own Ted Cross
RSVP here: ACEs Health Champions Gatherings
Read the presenters’ bios here: https://www.avahealth.org/what-we-do/aces-health-champions-network/aces-health-champions-gatherings.html
PSB Program Data Specialist
Valeria is responsible for collecting, analyzing, and communicating about data related to the PSB program.
A trained social scientist, Valeria received her PhD in Social Psychology from Rutgers University, and she is passionate about using data to drive positive change. During her free time, Valeria likes to watch sports, read, cuddle with her dogs, and spend time with her partner and family.
Jack was eight years old when he was sexually abused by his aunt for a year. His mother reached out to Ginnie’s House, the Sussex County Child Advocacy Center, in search of support for Jack, and it was found that the family as a whole needed services all around as each member was individually impacted by the sexual abuse and disclosure.
Ginnie’s House was not only able to provide Jack with therapeutic services, but Jack’s sister was able to process her feelings with a therapist as well. Jack’s parents received family advocacy services, where they were educated on the impact of trauma and how they can best continue to support Jack during this time. With a lot of strength and resilience, Jack completed TF-CBT (trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy) with his clinician and confidently read his trauma narrative, thus taking ownership over his own story.
As services were ending Jack’s mother asked how he felt and he told her, “I’m really ok now! I know what happened was her mistake, and that it wasn’t my fault.” Jack’s parents have learned how to remain patient and work with Jack throughout his therapeutic treatment and they “graduated” services being able to support Jack’s healing now and in the future.
“At first I was extremely terrified because I was in the car with my abuser when he had found out that we were being summoned to Union County CAC. But at that point, unbeknownst to me, I was ready to share something because I was tired of the façade. Sofia, the detective in my case, felt like an auntie I had not met yet and I was able to speak to her about something that I hadn’t said aloud ever.
It was a long time between when I disclosed the abuse and when my abuser was convicted in a trial and sentenced. The team members checked in with me and when I was fully ready to speak, they were able to help me find my voice in the sea of cacophony that surrounded my trial process.
After the conviction, I was going through a rollercoaster of feelings: for the first time, I was going to free of something that had become a part of my identity for so long. I don’t remember much of what I said on the witness stand but I know that I spoke from the depths of my heart without reason and rationale, just strict emotions. I remember telling my mom that I was raped for five years, proved it for four years, and I wanted to live and, in all honesty, that is what I wanted most. I wanted to be a teenager. I wanted to understand life and not feel my life in relation to pain and sorrow. I was and still am committing to becoming my best self despite what I have gone through. That trial was my rebirth and my catalyst for change.
I want to tell my multidisciplinary team ‘Thank you!’ I don’t know where I would be if you all weren’t in my life. I remember taking that leap of faith that I would write my story in my classroom journal and in my mind, that was my release—nothing more, nothing less. You all showed me the true power in words and actions; I became an educator because of what you guys showed me through the four years. I am committed to changing lives from what you all did for me!”
“I remember walking to Deirdre’s House, the Child Advocacy Center, and it was what I imagine is like what your grandma’s house feels like. There’s books, and it’s cozy, and it’s comfortable, and for sure safe.”
In the moment I disclosed my abuse, I felt like I had a rope to climb out of the deep well of water. Once I started sharing my story, I realized it was very empowering to take control – knowing that the story is mine to tell. It’s my warrior story.
Having my family far away most of the time, and not really telling the specifics of my story to them because I didn’t grow up being close to them, led me to lean on the prosecutor team and investigators for support. I see them now maybe once every couple of years, but they are near and dear to me and I feel like they are my family, and they made me feel like I was their family. Usually I would drive from Delaware to NJ for the proceedings and my family couldn’t be there, but the team was there for me. The investigator and one of the interns was there for me during the verdict, holding my hand. They helped me keep my head up; they were my grounding force. Every time I came in, it was like reuniting with friends. They asked me how I was, how school was, how my daughter was. They treated me like a friend – person-to-person – there was no elephant in the room. Whether it’s a family member, a friend, or a professional in the field, the best thing they can do for a survivor is help them feel like a person again. I didn’t need the hugs or the sympathy, I just needed a reason to smile, and they did that for me.
Everybody tells you it’s not your fault, and of course that’s true, but beyond that, it’s not even personal. There are sick and evil people out there, and they don’t do things to you because you’re you, they do things because they’re them. Even though I learned that people can do extreme harm, I came across this family of truly beautiful people who go out of their way to protect those like me.”
Director of Finance & Operations
Victoria Rutigliano
Finance and Operations Associate
Maria Isabella Pontoriero (MIP), M.S.W, L.S.W.
PSB Program Manager
Joanna (Joey) Lucas
Communications & Outreach Manager
Joey graduated from Rider University in 2018 with a degree in Elementary Education & Psychology. Joey spent over five years developing and implementing special education curriculums in K-12 public schools before deciding to pursue her passion for community outreach and development outside of the classroom. She has always enjoyed volunteering and working with nonprofit organizations to support children and families in need, and is thrilled to have the opportunity to do so in her role at NJCA! In her free time, Joey enjoys reading, travelling, and hosting dinner parties for her friends and family.
