Group 95
NJ Hotline: (877) NJ-ABUSE

Keeping Children Safe: Preventing Child Abuse

LEARN HOW WE WORK TOGETHER TO PROTECT CHILDREN AND PREVENT ABUSE.

Child Abuse Prevalence and Impact

Child abuse is a horrific experience with potentially lasting effects. It’s also, unfortunately, a common experience. Here’s a look at the scope of the problem.

Nearly 700,000 children are abused in the U.S each year.

An estimated 678,000 children (unique incidents) were victims of abuse and neglect in 2018, the most recent year for which there is national data. That’s about 1% of kids in a given year. However, this data may be incomplete, and the actual number of children abused is likely underreported.

Child welfare authorities ensure the safety of more than 3.5 million kids More than 3.5 million children received an investigation or alternative response from child protective services agencies.

An estimated 1.9 million children received prevention services. An estimated 1,770 children died from abuse and neglect in the United States in 2018, the most recent year for which there is national data. But child abuse fatalities are not the only consequences abused children suffer. Sexual abuse, physical abuse, and neglect are forms of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) that researchers have linked to mental health problems, such as mood disorders, anxiety, substance abuse, and impulse control disorders. Child abuse often co-occurs with other ACEs, like witness to domestic violence or community violence, traumatic loss or separation, or sexual assault. Adults with multiple ACEs have even been shown to be more likely to endure poor health outcomes like diabetes, STDs, heart disease, and early death.

Source: National Children’s Alliance

Teaching Children
About Body Safety

We teach our children all sorts of tools for staying safe – looking both ways before crossing the street, avoiding hot stovetops, knowing how to dial 911. There is a set of knowledge of body safety which, taught to children early and discussed frequently, can help protect them from sexual abuse. These include:

1

Teach children the correct names for parts; they should be no less comfortable referring to a penis or vagina than to an elbow or knee.

2

Teach children that some body parts – such as those covered by a bathing suit – are private. No one should touch or look at their private parts, except a caregiver or a doctor to help make sure they are clean and healthy, and no one should ask them to touch someone else’s private parts.

3

Tell children that nobody should ever take pictures of their private parts.

4

Discuss the difference between surprises and secrets. Nobody should ask a child to keep a secret from their parents.

5

Teach children that they can say no if someone asks them to do something that feels wrong – and that they can walk away, or ask an adult or a peer to leave. Let them know that there won’t be repercussions for telling you if someone made them uncomfortable.

6

Together, create a list of “trusted adults” that children can talk to if someone or something is making them uncomfortable.

7

Help children to understand about boundaries and consent – their own as well as those of others.

Online Safety

Between school, games, and socializing, children and teens spend a great deal of time online – even more so with the virtual/hybrid learning models instituted as a result of the pandemic. With all the benefits offered by the internet, however, there comes some inherent danger. The good news is that parents can effectively stay on top of their children’s online activities to help ensure their safety.

Regularly check the apps on all technology used by your children. Try out the apps and see how they work. Learn the access, privacy, and messaging policy of each app, and read the fine print.

Enable parental controls which give you the ability to restrict access and monitor messaging.

Directly supervise children under 8 in any technology use.

Make sure that location services are turned off on all devices.

Ensure that your child uses YOUR name and email, not their own, for all games and apps that ask them to create an ID or give any information.

Talk to your child regularly, in an age-appropriate way, about potential consequences of interacting with people online, especially sending pictures and messages of a sexual nature. • Reassure children that they should not be afraid to tell you if they made a mistake (i.e. accepted a request from someone they didn’t know or sent an inappropriate picture) and that you will work it out together.

Let children know that they should ALWAYS tell you if someone online makes them uncomfortable.

Parents can also keep an eye out for some red flags that may indicate that further conversation or action is needed:

Secrecy about online activities

Obsessiveness about being online

Changing screens or turning of the computer when an adult enters the room

Getting angry when unable to go online

Receiving phone calls, messages, or gifts (real or virtual) from unknown sources

Any behavior that looks like an attempt to exploit children, such as asking for naked photos, using sexual language, or asking to meet, should be reported to the Cybertip Line, 1-800-THE-LOST (1-800-843-5678).

Normal vs Problematic
Sexual Behaviors in Youth

Sexual exploration and play are a natural part of childhood sexual development. Some childhood sexual behaviors, however, indicate more than harmless curiosity. In some cases, sexual behaviors pose a risk to the safety and well-being of the child and other children in his or her world. These sexual behavior problems tend to continue even after the child has been told to stop or limit the behavior.

Sexual behaviors in children may be considered problematic if they have one or more of the following characteristics:

Are clearly beyond the child’s developmental stage

Involve threats, force, or aggression

Involve inappropriate or harmful use of sexual body parts (for example, inserting items)

Involve children of widely different ages or abilities (such as a 12-year-old “playing doctor” with a four-year-old)

Are associated with strong emotional reactions in a child—such as anger or anxiety

Interfere with typical childhood interests and activities

Some of the factors that have been linked to the development of sexual behavior problems include:

Exposure to traumatic experiences, such as abuse, natural disasters, or accidents

Exposure to violence in the home

Excessive exposure to adult sexual activity or nudity in the home (including media exposure through television or the Internet)

Inadequate rules about modesty or privacy in the home

Inadequate supervision in the home

People may react more strongly to these problems because they are sexual in nature, but children with sexual behavior problems are much like children with other types of behavioral problems. It’s important to remember that the child may have behaved in an inappropriate way, but can learn proper behaviors. children with sexual behavior problems are — first and foremost — children.

Children who receive treatment for their sexual behavior problems rarely commit sexual offenses as adults. Highly effective evidence- based treatments, provided by specially trained therapists, are available to children with sexual behavior problems.

For more information, contact the National Center on the Sexual Behavior of Youth.

Get Involved

Join us in our mission to protect and support child abuse victims. Whether through donations, volunteering, or spreading awareness, your involvement makes a difference.

Valeria Vila, Ph.D.

PSB Program Data Specialist

Valeria is responsible for collecting, analyzing, and communicating about data related to the PSB program.
A trained social scientist, Valeria received her PhD in Social Psychology from Rutgers University, and she is passionate about using data to drive positive change. During her free time, Valeria likes to watch sports, read, cuddle with her dogs, and spend time with her partner and family.

Contact Us

One Time Donation
Pledge Donations
One Time Donation
Jack’s Story

Jack was eight years old when he was sexually abused by his aunt for a year. His mother reached out to Ginnie’s House, the Sussex County Child Advocacy Center, in search of support for Jack, and it was found that the family as a whole needed services all around as each member was individually impacted by the sexual abuse and disclosure.

Ginnie’s House was not only able to provide Jack with therapeutic services, but Jack’s sister was able to process her feelings with a therapist as well. Jack’s parents received family advocacy services, where they were educated on the impact of trauma and how they can best continue to support Jack during this time. With a lot of strength and resilience, Jack completed TF-CBT (trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy) with his clinician and confidently read his trauma narrative, thus taking ownership over his own story.  

As services were ending Jack’s mother asked how he felt and he told her, “I’m really ok now! I know what happened was her mistake, and that it wasn’t my fault.” Jack’s parents have learned how to remain patient and work with Jack throughout his therapeutic treatment and they “graduated” services being able to support Jack’s healing now and in the future.

Rhea’s Story

“At first I was extremely terrified because I was in the car with my abuser when he had found out that we were being summoned to Union County CAC. But at that point, unbeknownst to me, I was ready to share something because I was tired of the façade. Sofia, the detective in my case, felt like an auntie I had not met yet and I was able to speak to her about something that I hadn’t said aloud ever.

It was a long time between when I disclosed the abuse and when my abuser was convicted in a trial and sentenced. The team members checked in with me and when I was fully ready to speak, they were able to help me find my voice in the sea of cacophony that surrounded my trial process.           

After the conviction, I was going through a rollercoaster of feelings: for the first time, I was going to free of something that had become a part of my identity for so long. I don’t remember much of what I said on the witness stand but I know that I spoke from the depths of my heart without reason and rationale, just strict emotions. I remember telling my mom that I was raped for five years, proved it for four years, and I wanted to live and, in all honesty, that is what I wanted most. I wanted to be a teenager. I wanted to understand life and not feel my life in relation to pain and sorrow. I was and still am committing to becoming my best self despite what I have gone through. That trial was my rebirth and my catalyst for change.

I want to tell my multidisciplinary team ‘Thank you!’ I don’t know where I would be if you all weren’t in my life. I remember taking that leap of faith that I would write my story in my classroom journal and in my mind, that was my release—nothing more, nothing less. You all showed me the true power in words and actions; I became an educator because of what you guys showed me through the four years. I am committed to changing lives from what you all did for me!”

Brenda’s Story

“I remember walking to Deirdre’s House, the Child Advocacy Center, and it was what I imagine is like what your grandma’s house feels like. There’s books, and it’s cozy, and it’s comfortable, and for sure safe.”

In the moment I disclosed my abuse, I felt like I had a rope to climb out of the deep well of water. Once I started sharing my story, I realized it was very empowering to take control – knowing that the story is mine to tell. It’s my warrior story.

Having my family far away most of the time, and not really telling the specifics of my story to them because I didn’t grow up being close to them, led me to lean on the prosecutor team and investigators for support. I see them now maybe once every couple of years, but they are near and dear to me and I feel like they are my family, and they made me feel like I was their family. Usually I would drive from Delaware to NJ for the proceedings and my family couldn’t be there, but the team was there for me. The investigator and one of the interns was there for me during the verdict, holding my hand. They helped me keep my head up; they were my grounding force. Every time I came in, it was like reuniting with friends. They asked me how I was, how school was, how my daughter was. They treated me like a friend – person-to-person – there was no elephant in the room. Whether it’s a family member, a friend, or a professional in the field, the best thing they can do for a survivor is help them feel like a person again. I didn’t need the hugs or the sympathy, I just needed a reason to smile, and they did that for me.

Everybody tells you it’s not your fault, and of course that’s true, but beyond that, it’s not even personal. There are sick and evil people out there, and they don’t do things to you because you’re you, they do things because they’re them. Even though I learned that people can do extreme harm, I came across this family of truly beautiful people who go out of their way to protect those like me.”

Sara Miao, M.B.A.
Program Coordinator, Finding Words/Child First
Sara has been coordinating the logistics of the Finding Words/Child First forensic interviewing protocol training program in NJ since 2022. Prior to joining NJCA, Sara worked for over 20 years in the pharmaceutical industry.
Claire Henderson

Director of Finance & Operations

Claire graduated with a B.S. in Finance from Lehigh University. Prior to joining NJCA, she worked as an AVP in the Equity Prop Trading department at Deustche Bank. During the 13 years she was away from the working world to raise her three children, she has volunteered at numerous charity organizations. During her free time she likes to travel, read, and spend many days at her kids’ sporting and theatre events.

Victoria Rutigliano

Finance and Operations Associate

Victoria assists in tracking and documenting NJCA’s grants and other financial operations. She holds a B.S.W. from Monmouth University, and has previously worked in the child welfare field in Denver, CO, as well as served in the role of Training and Outreach Coordinator with NJCA. 

Maria Isabella Pontoriero (MIP), M.S.W, L.S.W.

PSB Program Manager

Maria Isabella Pontoriero (“MIP”) is a licensed social worker and forensic interviewer. MIP is Founder and Consultant for Enhanced Choice Training & Consulting LLC, which provides specialized training and case consultation to individuals and agencies who serve victims of crime and exploitation. She also provides training and peer review feedback as a contract Consultant for Modell Consulting Group LLC and faculty member for RADAR Child Forensic Interview Models. MIP previously served as Lead Social Worker for the New Orleans Children’s Advocacy Center & Audrey Hepburn CARE Center at Children’s Hospital New Orleans. There, she supervised the forensic interviewing staff and led a child trafficking survivor services and proactive recovery planning team called BRAVE (Building Resilience for All Victims of Exploitation). In addition, MIP develops and delivers in-service and New Recruits child abuse curricula for the New Orleans Police Department Training Academy. In her spare time, MIP loves to bake, read, and celebrate Mardi Gras!

Joanna (Joey) Lucas

Communications & Outreach Manager

Joey graduated from Rider University in 2018 with a degree in Elementary Education & Psychology. Joey spent over five years developing and implementing special education curriculums in K-12 public schools before deciding to pursue her passion for community outreach and development outside of the classroom. She has always enjoyed volunteering and working with nonprofit organizations to support children and families in need, and is thrilled to have the opportunity to do so in her role at NJCA! In her free time, Joey enjoys reading, travelling, and hosting dinner parties for her friends and family.

Olga Aramini, M.S.W., M.B.A., L.S.W.
Director of Communications and Outreach
Olga joined NJCA in 2018, and currently serves as Director of Communications, focusing on raising awareness and support for Child Advocacy Centers and NJCA, as well as educating communities about child abuse prevention, recognition and reporting. She holds an MSW from Rutgers University along with a Certificate in Interpersonal Violence and Trauma, as well as an MBA with a concentration in Organizational Development from George Washington University. She is also a mental health clinician, providing treatment to children and families through the Children’s System of Care. Outside of work, Olga enjoys spending time with her husband, three sons and floppy-eared hound dog, as well as art, photography, travel, and audiobooks.